I believe it was Jesus who said, "If thy hair offendest thee, cut it off."
And who am I to reject the teachings of the Lord...especially when I haveth PMS?
Just think of all the heathen children around the world who could be fed by the uneaten brussel sprouts of all the bad children, and who haven't heard the Good News of Hair Empowerment!
THAT'S really why we invaded Iraq. You're welcome, heathen children.