Kwachie, I can't believe you'd stoop so low!
For one thing, I've never even been in Congress, but I'm pretty sure there's no sex there, Ms. Know-it-all!
And for another thing...I've never, ever gotten along with any men, ever. I spit on them when I see them on the street! Those kids? I bought them from a Lithuanian baby broker. That's why their English is so bad.
And what about you, Ms. Male-Identified-Faux-Lesbian? Who is it that waits for the Male Man to bring the bills?? Who has a son?? Hmmm? I know you're just coercively manipulating me into thinking...something.
(Honey...what was I supposed to be thinking again?)
Well, your little plan won't work. You can't scare me with your death threats and your coercive ways. That's right...you have ways. I didn't want to be the one to tell you, but there's no depths too low when I'm forced to defend myself against your vicious attacks.
Just for that, I'm going to drive by your house tonight. Then, I'm coming in. Don't try to stop me.
Your Internet Stalker