I've Got An Idea!

You know how sometimes you get a phrase stuck in your head?

The phrase that keeps going through my head today is, "We're all wearing the blue dress now."

I keep remembering how rabidly the Republicans pursued Clinton over his tryst with Monica Lewinski. Like he had, oh, I don't know...let's say...like he'd lied repeatedly to get us into a quagmire of a war with no provocation, no hope of success, and no way out.

Remember all that? All those hearings and votes for impeachment and all that gravitas associated with Clinton's lie about getting a blowjob from someone who wasn't his wife? Remember all the moral outrage?

Okay, now...who remembers the Constitution? The Patriot Act? How about the War Powers Act? Habeus Corpus? Why is our Congress willing to dither and equivocate and rationalize about the gutting of our civil liberties, but they're appalled by sex?

How come we're not having hearings and voting for the impeachment of Bush? Why isn't a war that kills 100,000 people more outrageous than oral sex? I'd be willing to let the entire White House staff blow him until he couldn't walk if he'd end this dumbass war and let the prisoners at Guantanamo go home.

Hell yeah, George! Do all the interns you want! Lie about it until you're blue in the face, I don't give a damn. Just stop killing our kids, okay?

I'll tell you what: we'll take up a collection...maybe coffee cans on the counter at the 7-11 with your picture on them..for a plethora of hookers. A couple every day to keep you occupied until you leave the White House and we can have a real president. What do you say? I'd much rather see my federal dollars going for that than to this other kind of monument to your masculinity.

A couple of Viagra, a couple of hookers and a few all day sex marathons. THEN your dad will be impressed with what a big guy you are. And then we can apologize to the people of Iraq, pack up our tanks and missiles and Hummers and get the hell out of their way.

What do you say, Big Guy?