Saturday, November 17, 2007

Whoring For Fun and Profit

I've got 18 minutes before I have to get in the shower and get ready for work. In the meantime, I was reading Linda at Straight Up and Slightly Dirty which, though amusing, is not NEARLY dirty enough. However, just because she doesn't have enough hot realtor-on-realtor porn doesn't mean I won't steal her ideas like a white-trash meth addict steals your pit bull out of your yard. So I'm stealing Linda's idea and chaining it up in my OWN yard, and pretending it's my own.

A list of my favorite things, which I hope will encourage you other toothless wasted meth addicts to steal this idea and chain it up in your own yards:

1. Lori
2. beer
3. cats
4. aimless driving
5. books
6. bonus games
7. tractors
8. haircuts
9. quiet Saturdays at work
10.doing piddly-ass things with my kids

What are a few of your favorite things?

Oh...and Katie is just a little outraged that she placed lower than the tractors and the bonus games, but hey...a few years ago, she wouldn't have made the list at all. Half full/half empty...don't be such a baby. You're lucky to have a mother. When I was your age, we had to walk 10 miles in the snow to be insulted by our mother.

You kids don't know how easy you've got it. Now shut up and eat your brussel sprouts.


Kwach said...

And Katie's response to Ev's hollered, "Hey, Katie! I blogged about you!" ....

"Hang on. I'm plucking my eyebrow."

Linda said...

Jeez! Sorry I'm not Dirty enough for ya - bee-otch! I struggle enough with the whole being Straight UP part, and then the 'will my mother-in-law read this?' or 'will my sister be offended?' thing... Lord knows I WANT to be dirty, I guess I just don't have the guts - yet!

Seriously, thanks for reading and then for taking the inspiration to do your own!

Ev said...

LOL! See how long it took you to warm up to me? Bee-otch? On the second date? You ARE a naughty thing!

It took Lori at least 3 dates to call me a bee-otch.

You go ahead and be as dirty as you want tell your mother-in-law that your slutty lesbian bitch friends like it that way. :-)