Thursday, May 24, 2007

Driving My Life Away

I did good! I made it to Deming, NM in 26 hours. I probably could have gone the last 200 miles and been in Tucson, but I'm too tired to be a good mother and the kids aren't expecting me until tomorrow anyway. Better not to show up early and rattle their cages any more than the move already has.

And Lynn, now I understand why it took you all day to get across's 100 miles across Dallas-Arlington-Fort Worth! My original plan was to stop there. Then I realized how monumentally stupid it would be to try to get across that megalopolis at the same time as the morning rush hour I kept on going to Abilene. I stopped for a sandwich in Sulpher Springs, and a two hour nap in Abilene, but my first real rest stop was Deming. The sandwich was an odd choice for me; I never eat sandwiches. I'm a chicken and rice junkie... but it was nice to sit on the tailgate in the setting sun, eat the sandwich and listen to people talk funny.

Oh...and I stopped once about 50 miles east of El Paso to pee in the desert, since there are no towns or rest stops anywhere in West Texas and I was doing the water and salt thing that was recommended by a nursing professional. It should have been a typical uneventful incidence of desert peeing, since I am an expert at outdoor peeing after eight years in the newspaper business and 3 years in the forest fire business. I looked around, determined that no other roads backed up to my road, and dropped my drawers. And at that point I apparently startled a rattlesnake, because he (she?) rattled at me briefly, then took off in the opposite direction. And that's extra good, since the only thing worse than being bitten by a rattlesnake is being bitten by a rattlesnake with your pants around your ankles.

The only other noteworthy event in the first 1400 miles was a big sign, proudly proclaiming Calf Raping! Saturday, May 26th! God Knows, I'm a cultural relativist, but that seemed a little...much. Texans are a wacky bunch! Maybe dinner and a movie first?


Kwach said...

Sadly, I don't think there's any way you can make it back to Texas in time for the calf raping on Saturday, even if you drive real fast. That sucks.


Feral Mom said...

Should you drive through Indiana (and I wouldn't recommend it...high probability of pistol-whipping), near Richmond you will find fifty-some billboards advertising "Tom Raper's" R.V. business. Alas, this one is no typo.