Friday, April 25, 2008

An Open Letter to the DNC

I haven't been blogging as prolifically as I normally do (I know that sentence is butchered, but so what? It's my blog!), but stick with me kids...I'll be back up to speed eventually.

In the meantime though...

I keep hearing residents of Florida and Michigan whining about being disenfranchised. Did they not understand the Democratic National Committee's rules about when they could hold a primary when they chose to move their primaries forward? Did they think that if they bullied their way to the head of the line they would then be able to bully the DNC into reversing their clearly-stated policy? I don't get what they're so outraged about. They gambled, they lost. They knew the stakes when they made their move forward on the calender, but I guess they thought no one would dare call them on it.

Guess what, Florida and Michigan. You chose poorly. Next time your Democratic machine tries to pull a boneheaded stunt like this, remember to write to your state assemblyman and complain BEFORE you lose your seat at the convention. Then you won't look like such crybabies.

Wah-wah! We tried to cheat and we got thrown out of the game! We want our score to count anyway! It's not fair that only you people who play by the rules get to go to the finals!

And who didn't expect Hillary to keep ringing that bell? I'll bet she's got a checklist in her pantsuit pocket:

Race baiting? Check!
Classism? Check!
Christian Right Muslim dogwhistles? Check!
Blaming FL and MI political buffoonery on Obama? Check and double check!

Good news! We've hit all the points on the list. We're ready for the coronation.

Hopefully the erstwhile candidate and rarely-heard-from Chairman of the DNC, Howard Dean, will stand tough in the face of the Clinton campaign's desperate attempt to weasel it's way around the rules. I'm counting on the DNC leadership and the super delegates to sit on their hands and not do anything foolish that's going to make the rest of the country feel like chumps for following the DNC's own rules.

Remember, DNC. We got fucked in 2000. We got fucked in 2004. If you cave in to the tsunami force of political pressure from the Clinton campaign and steal our candidate from us, we're just going to pack up all our feminists, lesbians, blacks, Hollywood stars, former Clinton staffers and Harvard law grads and throw our support behind some other Inexperienced Elitist Muslim Election-Stealing Negro with suspicious ties to African Muslim Genocidal Death Squads.

I mean, c'mon. These guys must be a dime a dozen, right?

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

1) Native Floridians don't whine.
2) It was a Republican move that attached additional legislation insisting on a good paper trail for elections.Not a sole issue of moving up the primary. The democrats voting yes to move up the primary had to give a yes.
3)Record numbers of Floridians voted and, the motivating factor was the new kid on the block.
4) Hillary is a legend here in her own mind.

XUP said...

I don't understand any of this. Every election year I'm in complete awe at how ya'll keep up with this incredibly complicated voting process. It's truly mind-boggling. And you'd think at the end of it all you'd end up with some amazingly fantastic uber-leader, wouldn't you?

innkeeper said...

You forgot one. That would be Inexperienced Elitist GAY Muslim Election-Stealing Negro with suspicious ties to African Muslim Genocidal Death Squads.