What Was the Source of the Spark?

I had one of those funny days where I must be extra electrical, or extra magnetic, or extra something. I touched the touchpad on the spectrophotometric analyzer and it immediately froze up. Ditto the blood gas analyzer. All I had to do was walk by the hematology analyzer and it spontaneously rebooted.

And that reminded me of the time I fried my Dell Jukebox, a less stylish but (at the time) more powerful iPod.

I walked across the living room and picked it up off my desk. There was a massive spark, and it went black, except for the shape of my thumbprint on the screen. I played with the reset button for a while, removed the battery...all those things you do to reboot stuff. Finally, I called tech support.

I got a nice young woman in India, who wanted to be helpful, but she couldn't wrap her mind around the nature of the incident.

"What happened to the device?"

"I picked it up and apparently discharged a spark of static electricity, and fried it."

"What was the source of the spark?"

"Me."

"No, no...I mean what electrical source?"

"My socks."

"What is that?"

"Socks? Those things that go on your feet?"

"Yes. What is that?"

"Like little sweaters for feet. Like gloves. They go on your feet inside your shoes."

"Well...what was the nature of the electrical source?"

"The socks generated static electricity on the rug."

"So...you're dissatisfied with the product?"

"No, I love the product, it just doesn't work anymore."

"Tell me...what was the source of the electrical charge?"

"My socks."

"I don't understand you. I will send you a replacement. Will that do?"

"Yes. Thank you."

Luckily, when I went on my electrically charged rampage today I was able to bring my own analyzers back up, with some help from Thomas. But I felt like Typhoid Evie by the time I went home. I'm thinking of changing my signature line to "Women want me, electronic devices fear me."

I feel like Moses, setting shrubbery on fire and then talking to it. I'm just that powerful.