Sunday, February 11, 2007

Like a Chemotrophic Unicellular Slime Mold, Our Love Grows Without Boundaries

Carrie, my eldest child, who I used to love, has informed me that her friend Ursula AND Ursula's mother both read our blog. That brings our readership over 10 normal people, and 20 or so creepy trolls. That's a lot of pressure!

However, as a sporadically dedicated chronicler of the lesser things in life, I can appreciate those hardy folks who wade through our photos of the attractions of Southern Illinois, skinless people, and luggage in search of cheap amusement. I myself have been known to watch the Jesus Show and Moto-X racing on Sundays mornings in an effort to find intellect-free entertainment in a one TV channel household.

However, you all know where the "post comment" button is, so I blame you, Dear Readers, for the occasional dry spells. You see, Nurse Ann? In the end, the blame invariably falls on the mothers. That's why we get the big bucks.

Ursula, I know you're fluent in English (and presumably so is your mom, since she raised you), because I read your blog. So you have no excuse for not joining in...either of you. And as a fellow Carrie-phile, you must know that to be our neighbor is to become one of us. Soon you too will wear flannel and do math problems for fun in your head. Mwa-ha-ha!

Welcome to the family, Ursula and Ursula's Mom!


Carrie said...


You're going to scare away your own fans.

And I'm not sure doing math in our heads is a Midwestern trait. It might be a freak trait. Sometimes those two traits are easily confused, though.

Kwach said...

Or you could come from MY side of the family and be a whiz-bang speller, but be reduced to doing math on your fingers instead of in your head.

You'll still be required to wear flannel ... at least at jammie time.


Ev said...

Nah! We're all about the love here. That shouldn't scare anyone.
Nothing says love like flannel and calculus. And cats. Lots of cats.


Ursula said...

Well, hello. I've been outed as a lurker. As far as math goes, I usually use all 10 fingers and all 9 toes (one is a bloody ingrown mess at the moment, thus reducing my counting capabilities from 20 to 19.) I really wouldn't mind some skills rubbing off on me in that department.

Anonymous said...

Ok...I confess, I also read your blog. I rarely comment on blogs I read, as I often read them on the run.

Oh...and I also read the vegan blog. Your daughter has some good recipes there.


Ev said...

There! Don't you both feel better? Now you can join the 12 step program:

"Hi, my name is Ursula/Kate, and I read blogs about boring old midwestern lesbians with cats."

"Hi, Ursula and Kate! Keep coming back."

Anonymous said...

I want to know how you decide who is creepy and who is normal? Do we get to choose which side we're on? Robin

Ev said...

I do. :-)

Creepy troll people are defined in the Dictionary of Evie-isms as people who stalk our children online, people who have ill will towards us but read us anyway, and anyone who voted for Bush for anything, ever.

Nice normal people are people we like who like us back, and who want peace, harmony, and a presidential impeachment. Or maybe a small bloodless coup.'s my dictionary. I can define it anyway I want.


Sofie said...

I read sometimes when I'm supposed to be doing homework. Okay, so I do lots of things when I'm supposed to be doing homework. Don't feel too special. I'm the sister of Ursula and also the best daughter of Ursula's mom. Nice to meet you two.

Ev said...

Too late...we already feel special.

Hi Sofie! Nice to meet you!

And don't feel too bad about the homework. I just graduated three years ago, and I vividly remember homework avoidance.

The most brilliant act of homework avoidance was to get a squeaky new girlfriend to occupy my time.

If you're not interested in girls, blogs might also work.