Carrie and I try to leave the house to go work out at about the same time every day. She does it because it fits well with her running and work schedule. I do it because I'd rather watch The Price Is Right than The Young And The Restless on the TV in front of the elliptical machine.
So the other day we got to the gym and I said, "Oh, crap! It's The Young And The Restless. I hate soaps! And she said, "Mom. It's satellite TV. You can watch something else."
We live, of course, in Nowhere. We get one TV channel, which we refer to affectionately as The Channel. We rarely turn the TV on, but when we do, The Channel meets our needs. We get CSI (all fifty of them), and all the CSI knockoffs. We get David Lettermen and Craig Ferguson at night, and the Jesus Show on Sunday. And we have Netflix.
We're a simple folk, so The Channel is good enough for us.
But at the gym, I was faced with 200 channels. I panicked. I didn't remember how to change the channel (it's on the satellite receiver box, not on the TV), and I didn't want to take on the responsibility of finding something to watch. I just wanted my Channel, with The Price Is Right. Like God intended.
If Jesus wanted me to watch other channels, they'd play in my home. They don't. God has spoken. And who am I to fuck with that?
Oh. But I ended up watching The Soup on E! at the gym, and it made me laugh so hard that it threw off my breathing. I could have died. All because we weren't watching The Channel. If that's not a message from God, I don't know what is.