I have a friend who's very gay-friendly, but not a native speaker of English. She was reassuring me once about her gay-friendliness and mentioned that her uncle is also The Gay.
Okay...how much do we love this?
Subsequently, we've gotten to be closer friends, and have moved from discussion gayness in the abstract to discussing it in some detail. In those conversations, we refer to the actual sex act as The Sex. My friend is also having The Sex, but she has it with The Husband instead of The Girlfriend.
Therefore: Lori and I are The Gay. We have The Sex. The Gay Sex. We both speak English fluently, but we have come to prefer this slightly butchered phrasing to the more technically correct but soulless kind found in Standard English.
So...Sassy Pants? Enjoy The Sex. With The Boy. Or The Girl...hell, I don't care. Just come back and tell your lascivious Aunties about it afterwards, okay?