Monday, December 10, 2007

Fuckety Fuckety Fuck Fuck Fuck.

I think it carries a degree of urgency if you call someone and threaten to kill yourself. I wonder if it loses it's impact if you do it on your blog? I swear...one more fucking thing and I'll do it.

I'm tired. I'm cold, I'm angry, I'm hungry, I'm muddy, the cats have escaped out the back door for the second time today and I'm fighting the impulse to shoot them on the porch. If it weren't so fucking cold out there, I'd put the goddamned U-Haul in gear and stick my head under the goddamned tire. Goddamn it.

However, it would be a dramatic gesture but not a deadly one, since the fucking thing is mired in mud up to it's fucking axles.

Go ahead. Anyone. I dare you. Say one fucking thing to piss me off.

We used to have a cat that, when she got pissed off, would run around the house looking for the dog so she could beat the holy hell out of it. She wasn't necessarily mad at the dog but it felt so good to hit it and watch it scream and cower that the dog was where she'd go to resolve her anger. She was a dog-seeking missile under pressure.

U-Haul...I'm coming after you.

By the way...I'm almost positive that I now hold the record for saying "fucking bastards" the most time in a single hour. Fucking U-haul bastards and their fucking tight-assed Missouri employees. If I decide to live through this day, I'm going to to rent one of their hideously overpriced fucking trucks and drive it through the front door of the U-Fucking-Haul corporate-fucking-headquarters.

Fucking bastards.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Remember "Planes, Trains and Automobiles?" When he gets abandoned at the rent-a-car place at the airport? He says to the bubble-headed rent-a-car person, I want a fucking car, right fucking now . . ." After gathering more information (and giving him the opportunity to say "fuck" and/or "fucking" numerous times, she responds with "you're fucked!" whereby he walks outside, is kicked in the balls and is almost run over by John Candy. Great movie, and sounds kind of like the past several days of your life. Robin

Linda said...

No, c'mon, tell us how you REALLY feel! I does feel good to read the title out loud though.

CEDARFLAME said...

Well, I feel better about my life right now.

Ev said...

I never saw "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles" but I can totally relate to his frustration.

I'm almost positive that customer service people are promoted based on their ability to stonewall customers.