Wednesday, October 31, 2007

It's That Time of Year...


Happy ThankHallowNewMas!

Today is the official kickoff of that annual nightmare: the Holiday Season. The Holiday Season now lasts for roughly three months, beginning with Halloween and running through the post-New Year sales. This is the time that Americans traditionally open their wallets and then empty them, then take out their credit cards and max them...all in the name of the peace, love, and Jesus.

Jesus wants you to spend more. Have you considered a home equity line of credit?

I'm sure I'm not the only one who dreads the onset of the Holiday Season. I love Thanksgiving...what's not to love about a holiday devoted entirely to food?...but Christmas just about breaks my spirit every year. It's everything I hate in the world, all draped in twinkly lights and borne in on a sleigh full of electronic gadgets playing Xmas music 24 hours a day for months.

And no, "Jesus is the reason for the season"doesn't help. I'm almost positive that Jesus wouldn't get too choked up about memorializing his birth with a diamond ring from Macy's.

It's just weird. It's weird and wrong and sick to have this 60 day shopping frenzy to commemorate the Prince of Peace. Or the Winter Solstice. Or whatever else drives people to the mall and to Best Buy to fight the crowds for this year's Nintendo Wii to prove they love their children as much as they loved them last year...about $1200 worth each, according to the estimates.

Welcome to Hell. Let the decorating begin.

5 comments:

Kwach said...

Which begs the question, how does Ebeneezer Scrooge get hooked up with someone who owns at least 8 large Rubbermaid tubs full of Christmas decorations ... not including the outside ones that are too big to fit in tubs?

I could easily decorate at least three Christmas trees with all the assorted tinsel and lights and ornaments I own, build several extravagant centerpieces, and throw rugs and holiday pillows all over the house. I'm that person who would even decorate the bathrooms and the kitchen ... I have the towels and tablecloths and oven mitts to do it. You don't want to know about the discussion
we had a few years ago regarding the relative value and necessity of a separate set of Christmas dishes. :)

Yes, I have been known to spend every dime I have (and a few I don't) on Christmas gifts and stocking stuffers (ohmygod I love stocking stuffers!) and worry about the rent next month. I know which station plays the 24-hour-a-day Christmas music and I sing along. I love shopping for my Secret Santa gifts!

Jeezus, schmeezus, the reason for the season is pretty decorations, twinkly lights, a dead tree in the living room dripping with ornaments and an obscenely large pile of prezzies wrapped in fruit paper and gold ribbon. I really don't care if they cost a lot, as long as there are lots of them.

We've learned to compromise somewhat. I can decorate, but I can't look frenzied about it. I don't have Christmas dishes, but we have a pretty tree. Last year we didn't do presents at all. I got Ev something I knew she wanted, she got me something she knew I wanted, we didn't wrap them and we gave them to each other before the dreaded Christmas Morning. Then we spent Christmas day at the casino, I won $250 and we went out for a steak dinner.

How in the hell did poor Ev get stuck with me???

Anonymous said...

"Welcome to Hell." No, THAT's not hell. Didn't you hear about that church in TN who decked their basement out as "Hell" for the children of the church? Complete with the corner for the woman who had an abortion, as well as the corner for all the homasexuls living down there. Seems the good pastor wanted them to get in touch with "the real Satan." Yeesh - is THAT a good way to begin the 60-day buying season?!? Robin

Tim said...

'Tis the season to be jolly, dammit!

I can think of no better time of the year. i LOVE Christmas. I love to decorate, I love to bake cookies and cakes, make candy and other ridiculously fattening things. It is F-U-N.

Last January I bought 4 4-foot fiber optic trees for 5 bucks each. No idea what we'll do with them, but - one can never have too many trees in the house.

We have several hundred santa's - in fact, I was at the grocery store today and found one thatw as fun ($5.99 - a deal!) so he's going downstairs until November 23rd. (Our 13th anniversary and the official start of our Holiday decorating.) We, too, have so many bins of decorations it's frightening. It takes hours to bring them all up from the basement. More hours t pack away all of the stuff that's currently out - 'cuz every surface becomes a Christmas surface.

There are stories behind everything, and with Christmas music blaring away, we start the storytelling once again. We have a few rituals, and then it's decoratedecoratedecorate!

FORTUNATELY - we both feel the same way about Christmas and both feed into and play off one another's love of the season.

What I *hate* to do is go shopping. I love buying gifts for people, I love finding that special thing - I hate stores.

Internet shopping was made for me. I can browse, sift through and get what I want and what I need without standing in line, dealing with neurotic people or incompetent sales staff.

And I buy local stuff from local artists and the like. Folks I work with who make faaaaaaaabulous stuff. It's great.

And... We have Christmas dishes for 32.

Kwach said...

I think I might be gay guy.

URBAN PEDESTRIAN said...

Well, I'm obviously not a gay guy because I agree with Ev on this one. I love the "idea" of there being a time of year when we put aside all our differences and get all warm and fuzzy about everything -- but that never actually happens. I do love that there are at least a couple of days in this whole frenzy when the whole corporate and commercial world grind to a blissful, quiet halt. I love taking 2 weeks off around Christmas and just doing nothing