Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Two Mules for Sister Sarah

Q: What does Sarah Palin hate worse than Democrats?

A: Illinois Democrats.

Sarah is so last week.
In the finest tradition of Chicago politics, we're having our own little Turkey Massacree in three part harmony here in the Land of Lincoln, and I'm afraid Sarah's been kicked off the front page by an Illinois Democrat again.

Sarah, step aside for the new leader of the Governor's To Watch Out For pack. You may have cool glasses and Naughty Monkey pumps, but Rod has those beady sunken eyes ... that sneery non-existant upper lip ... that prodigious cappilosity! (He looks a little bit like Alvin the Chipmunk, doesn't he?)

You can see Russia from your house, but I can hear the ink drying on the drawing boards of political cartoonists all over the globe from mine.

Thank heaven we can finally be done with all those puerile "gosh darnit"s and "you betcha"s, also too. With Rod you get pure unadulterated gutter profanity ... and no damn winking! President-Elect Obama doesn't want to play ball and fork over an ambassadorship, a cabinet position or the high paid chairmanship of a specious non-profit organization? "Fuck him!" A seat in the Senate? It ain't just a chair, it's a "fucking golden thing and you don't fucking give it away for nothing." If Blagojevich's phone had a cuss-o-meter the needle would redline.

I don't ever want to hear about Sarah Palin's abuse of power again, either, also. She's a total lightweight.

The Governor of Alaska got one teensy-weensy little public servant fired. The Governor of Illinois tried to blackmail the entire Tribune company into firing every journalist who ever wrote anything negative about him. Now that's some firin'.

Palin's pedestrian little per-diem ripoff? Peanuts. Rod won't even entertain a guest in the Governor's office for less than half a mil.

So head's up, Alaska. Your Governor may be a goof-ball, but our Governor can kick your Governor's ass in the National Embarassment sweepstakes!


Anonymous said...

Oh I wouldn't be so sure of that :)
Sarah's got...Housegate, Troopergate I&II, clothesgate,Undeclared IRS expenses, And she has fired employees not loyal to her...I could see her threatening a newpaper, or one of those "blogger's in pajama's" I think the FBI just hasn't gotten around to her YET!

Anonymous said...

That guy get the DIRTBAG award for 2008..

Lets hope this sticks, he's recalled ASAP or tossed out on one of those BIG EARS he has... !

He's an ugly bastard ain't he...

Kwach said...

The big ears are for hearing the whispered bribes. : )

Jazz said...

Heh... I heard about this on the radio yesterday morning, but not being a morning person it was just pretty much background noise. And I had no idea what he looked like. Such a sleaze!

Funny how news of all the US scandals makes it to Canada, but our scandals never even cause a blip on your radar.

Kwach said...

Jazz, I'm sure you haven't notice (cough cough) but Americans are just a little bit self-absorbed. There's a tendency in the US to consider the rest of the world just a support system for us. Thank you for the snow, btw ... and hockey. (Blagojevic tends to think of the entire state of Illinois as merely a support system for his family ... maybe now some of that IDOT money they tax me for will actually be spent on filling those big-ass potholes in Chicago. You could lose a truck in one.)

Cedar said...

They fill those big ass pot holes everytime they need to hide a body. I hear you all know here Hoffa is buried.

Kwach said...

I swear, all that's buried in our yard are two dogs ... that we know of.