Friday, December 12, 2008


Lori and I joined Facebook this week, which means several things. Firstly, it means that we've been finding our old friends and acquaintances and reconnecting. Secondly, it takes up solidly out of the "pathetic old dinosaurs" category, and into "trendy and shallow"...which is a much more amusing place to be. Lastly, it means that any of you who are on Facebook and don't friend us? You suck ass. I mean that. Just stay away from my humble little blog. Go read something like Pandagon or some other popular blog where they don't need friends.

Now that we're on Facebook we've made some interesting reconnections. Lori friended (and then unfriended) a guy she used to go to high school with who's now an unrepentant bible-thumping homophobe. Oh...and she unfriended Paula Poundstone after Paula's automated update shook her down for cash. Lori's pretty ruthless that way. She refused to bail out GM also.

Paula and General Motors? Don't come to Nowhere looking for a handout. It ain't happening.

Lori tracked down one ex that still likes her and one that doesn't. My two long term lesbian exes include a deeply closeted woman who'll never appear in public somewhere where she might be caught being gay (like Facebook), and one who is happily technologically-impaired. Not much likelihood of bumping into either of them on the Internets. But I did meet up with her son, and he turned into a man when I wasn't looking. I guess they do that.

Since it's my day off and I've got a cold, I'm extra low on ambition. I took a nap on the floor in front of the fireplace with Cuppy, ran the granddog out in the field, and learned to navigate Facebook. Now I'm prepared. Friends, quasi-friends, pseudo-friends, and frenemies...bring it on. I know how to send Mistletoe and fishes now. I'm ready.


paulapoundstone said...

Oh geez, I'm Paula's manager.
Can you tell your friend that was a joke.
Paula wasn't serious. She was connecting it to the economy and car guys.
She would never solicit people for cash.
Please explain!
Thank you.
Bonnie Burns

Ev said...

Dear Paulasmanager,

Relax! We still love Paula! I'll tell Lori to apologize to Paula and be her friend again, okay?

And might I commend you on your excellent response time? I KNEW all sorts of famous people were camped out here on Nowhere, IL waiting for eloquence to dribble from our lips.

Oh...and we never back up our baseless accusations with explanations. We're mothers..."Because I said so" is good enough.

Tell Paula "howdy" from Nowhere!

Ev said...

Good news! We've patched up our differences with Paula Poundstone Also, I figure that if I keep saying "Paula Poundstone" I'll keep getting visits from her manager, which will increase my Lesbian Hot Chick factor exponentially.

Anyway, now that we're pals again, maybe we can get a bailout from Paula Poundstone. Just a few brazillion to tide us over until payday. Waddya say?