Friday, June 27, 2008

Life's a Bitch and Then I'm a Bitch, Too

I've have very bad PMS for the last couple of days. Today is the apex. Therefore:

1. I'm irrationally angry.
2. I'm fighting the impulse to kill everyone stupid enough to speak to me. Luckily, that's virtually no one, since my kids are taking one look at me and slinking back to their room/home.
3. Gas is expensive, which means we have no disposable income, contributing to #1. However even if gas were cheap I'd still be angry about something. That's the good thing about PMS. It allows a person to be an equal opportunity hater.

Therefore, I'm going to finish my chicken and rice, take up my chainsaw, and finish cutting up the termite tree while fantasizing about who's face is on each limb. Then with any luck, the weather will hold and I'll throw the dismembered termite tree parts on the burn pile and burn the motherfucker to the ground while sitting in a lawn chair and drinking beer in front of it. If Al comes over I plan to shoot him.

6 comments:

Iwanttocomeback asmycat said...

(ahem) Now, would you mind telling us how you REALLY feel?

(backing slowly out of the blog room...)

Kwach said...

A few minutes ago I told one of my co-workers I couldn't wait to finish work, get home and have a piece of cake. Then I sat down to check my e-mail and sneak a peek to see if Ev blogged today.

Cake, schmake ... I think I have to work late ...

:)

XUP said...

I'm not a big fan of the whole PMS paradigm. I think we humans should be allowed to be bitchy/grumpy/antisocial whenever we want without blaming it on any gender-specific hormonal activity. But, you know, you go girl!!

Kwach said...

Ah, but Ev doesn't have "pms" (as in, "I have pms ... I'm grumpy and my boobs are sore."). Ev has PMS ... the medically diagnosed brand that's classified as Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder. Look it up. You'll be happy to settle for grumpy with sore boobs.

Cedar said...

There is a hysterectomy somewhere with your name on it.

XUP said...

Oh - gadzooks. My apologies, Ev