Wednesday, August 01, 2007
If It Ain't Broke...Never Mind. It's Broke.
How's this for a silver lining:
Everything I own is currently broken, so there's nothing else to worry about.
Okay, maybe not everything. But my truck and our air conditioner walked off into the sunset together a couple of days ago; and last night I came home to find that we had no water. It was a balmy 1,000 degrees in the house, we were out of ice AND beer, and our water was shut off by the city because the previous owners failed to pay their final bill.
The first thing I did this morning is haul my sweaty self down to the City Hall and stinkily inquire as to the status of my water service. Whoops! We shut off the wrong people!
It took less than 10 minutes for the guys to come back out and turn it back on, but I had visions of retribution dancing merrily in my head. Perhaps something from the artillery group. Where does a person even get a Howitzer around here, anyway? And does it come with instructions?
Is there anything crankier than a girlfriend with no air conditioning? How about a girlfriend with no air conditioning AND no shower! If my girlfriend dumps me in a fit of hysterical hyperthermia, I'm coming after YOU, Ms. Water Department Lady! As soon as I read the Howitzer manual, you're going down!
But things are looking up. The A/C man will be here with the new blower motor soon, the water is flowing freely, and I'm steeling myself up for the truck project. And tonight I get to make another run at the burn pile, and nothing cheers me up like a nice conflagration.
And I'm on vacation until Monday. By then I ought to have spent enough time puttering around in the yard to have restored myself to the state of zen-like serenity that I'm so famous for. By then I think it'll be safe for the Water Department Lady to check out of the witness protection program. Maybe.