Monday, August 13, 2007

Bye-Bye Turdblossom

So...Karl Rove, the Darth Vader of American politics, is stepping down. He joins the parade of Bush staffers who've suddenly noticed that they need to spend more time with the family. You might think that Karl would have noticed his neglected family before six and a half years of the Bush presidency passed and his popularity numbers were in the toilet, but who am I to question the veracity of Mr. Rove or his parenting habits?

I'll admit, I expected to be overjoyed at his departure. Instead I'm feeling a little disappointed that he won't be leaving his job in an orange jumpsuit and handcuffs. After all those Congressional hearings and all those political dirty tricks, he's never even had a perjury conviction for Bush to set aside. He managed to slime his way past accepting responsibility for the Valerie Plame CIA incident, the war against Eye-Rack, and several rigged elections...and he's still going to escape with his pride intact and smelling like a Turdblossom...err...rose.
Rove is right up there with Dick Cheney at the top of the list of Bush officials who have walked all over the Constitution with jackboots and will now begin a second career as a lobbyist and public speaker, undoubtedly making more money for each lie he tells than I make in a year.

Not that I'm bitter.

What I would hope for, if I were a more vengeful person, would be a roundup of all the top level Bush staffers for a lengthy stay at Guantanamo as unconvicted "enemies of the state", while the next administration languidly parses the Geneva Convention statutes and the 6th and 8th amendments to the Constitution. I'll bet that would take years. Better take a good book with you, guys...I hear that's not much to do in prison besides read and sharpen your shank.

Oh, and since it's my wish list, I'd like to see an enormous political backlash that would cause every boneless, pandering, poll-addicted Democrat and every pompous, self-righteous, hypocritical Republican in both houses of Congress to wake up unemployed after the next election, AND without their cushy retirement package.

Maybe send them to Guantanamo, too. While I'm being vindictive, I might as well go for the gold. Poison ivy makes me cranky.

In fact, that's all I want for Christmas this year: for all those bastards to live the leisurely life of federal prisoners for an indeterminate length of time. That, or a pony.


Anonymous said...

I hear fed pens for rich white guys (or women), are not quite what they crack up to be if you're (heaven forbid!), poor, of color, etc. *MY* fantasy would be that they'd have to exist on the poverty-level wages they consign my clients to - give em the food stamps, the disability checks, and the housing stipend; they'd still be hurtin! Robin

Ev said...

Do you remember a few months back when several members of the House tried to eat for a week on the $21 that the average food stamp recipient receives?

They all admitted to skipping meals out of necessity, and pretty much lived on rice, beans, and various combinations thereof.

But then they said, "It wasn't so bad."

Yeah...for a week. Try it with three kids for a year.


Anonymous said...

It's kinda like when Jane Burn moved to Cabrini Green - after they completely renovated her apartment, hallways, ENTIRE buildings? I think they do things differently for those big-wiggy people :-) robin

Suzanne said...

Hear, hear.