An Alarming Juxtaposition of Events

Last year, on October 29th, MelonKiwi...the greatest cat ever, the love of my life, my soulmate...came to live with us. A week later, the tragic story of my leg occurred. A year later, it still hurts.

Today, in a blinding flash of insight, I've come to understand: Melon has been demonically possessing my leg! I don't know why it didn't occur to me a year ago! My leg problem is clearly not from a lack of exercise, it's a lack of exorcism!

I wonder where I can get an exorcist on short notice. Do you think they charge extra around the holiday season? It seems like the casting out of demons would have a season aspect to it...