Thursday, November 08, 2012
To sleep - perchance to dream!
Election day rolled around and I had the day off to worry, vote, go for my surgery post-op and run other errands. I came home with my prescriptions refilled for Prozac and Adderall, three bags of candy to get us through watching the returns and a 12 pack of Leinenkugel's Snow Drift Vanilla Porter because it sounded yummy. I'm not much of a beer drinker and had no idea if I'd like it, but I knew that even if I didn't drink it Thanksgiving is coming and no beer ever goes to waste on a family feasting holiday.
Well, it turns out that I did like it. I liked it so much I drank TWO beers, which is unheard of. Combined with the pound or so of mini Heath Bars, Butterfingers and Paydays, the whole thing led to being VERY tired as the night wore on and the returns came in. I remember Ev "wooohoooooooo!!!!!"ing frequently and I remember speeches were made, but I'm afraid I slept through a lot.
And wow, what dreams I had! I dreamed that Romney went down in flames and Ann looked like she'd been pulling her hair out in clumps when he gave his concession speech, Obama was re-elected in a landslide, nearly sweeping the swing states, while cheering throngs of happy people of every description wept and waved flags just like last time! I dreamed that Tammy Baldwin was elected the first openly lesbian senator and Tammy Duckworth beat the pants of that shithead who said she wasn't a hero. I dreamed that Alan West ended up on the unemployment line and that awesome Alan Grayson came back from the Tea Party Oblivion he was pitched into two years ago. I dreamed that the "Legitimate Rape" and "Rape is God's Will" candidates were kicked to the curb, even in such fiery red states as Missouri and Indiana. I dreamed that Elizabeth Warren shoved that pickup drivin', mud-slingin' weasel out of Ted Kennedy's seat and went on to kick so much major ass in the Senate that SHE held the seat until she died at the age of 115 and they built a freakin' monument to her on the mall.
I dreamed that Ruth Bader Ginsburg could finally feel safe enough to retire from the Supreme Court and enjoy the last of her life knowing she wouldn't be replaced by an ultra-conservative activist judge in the pocket of some corporation or another.
In short, it was just about the most perfect day I could ever have imagined. It was an AWESOME dream!
And then I woke up and realized that it wasn't a dream after all!! (Well, except for the Elizabeth Warren Monument on the mall, but that's probably pre-cognitive.) And the world didn't end, and the earth didn't open and swallow us all, and the oceans didn't turn red with blood, and zombies didn't apocalypse and America wasn't invaded by the Chinese or the combined forces of Muslim evil, and gays can get married with the VOTER'S permission in Maine and Maryland, and you can kick back and enjoy a doobie whenever the hell you want to in Colorado and Washington, and holy crap it really WAS the best day I could ever have imagined!! Okay, almost the best day. Michele Bachmann is still the craziest woman in Washington and we still have to put up with Mitch McConnell's assholery and Weeper of the House Boo-hooner (at least until that cocksucker, Eric Cantor, takes his gavel away from him). But those are small prices to pay!
And speaking of toupee .... wtf?? With all Donald Trump's money can't he buy a head of freaking hair that doesn't look like it needs to be fed and walked several times a day?? The damage from Hurricane Sandy may be irreparable!
Oh, and my hardware looks perfect and I got to throw away my cervical collar and I can do whatever the hell I feel like doing as long as I don't lift over 20 pounds for six more weeks. I told you it was the BEST DAY EVER!